Tips for How Talk to Your Child about Exclusionary Behavior (Tips 5 & 6)

April 22nd, 2013 | Categories: Uncategorized

Continuing my series on Tips for How to Talk to Your Child about Exclusionary Behavior, today I offer Tip 5 and Tip 6.

Tip 5: Gain your child’s confidence by using persuasive tactics in that moment. Don’t assume your child ‘should’ talk to you because you are their parent.

Why? In these moments children are engaging in their own internal dialogue. They already know you have credibility as their parent, but that’s not enough for the ‘pro’ side of the argument when the ‘con’ side has such a long list. Children want to tell you what is happening in their lives, but they need to be actively and logically persuaded that you are in their ingroup in that moment in order for them to tell you something they are uncomfortable about or have even been threatened about.

Tip 6: Engage in ethical and philosophical conversations with your child when they ask seemingly innocent but potentially deep questions like “when is it okay to keep a secret?” or “why are some people mean?”

Why? Children are already engaging in philosophical conversations in their own heads. You should have some input. Having a talk with children about “right and wrong” assumes there are always only two sides. Children know it is more complicated than that. Ethically grey areas are confusing for all of us, kids too. Help them understand how you deal with these so they know how to also. This reinforces that you are part of their ingroup because you are sharing- and essentially indoctrinating your child with- your ingroup’s ideas and values.

Tomorrow, the series continues with the next two tips.

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